Transcript from this episode:

Aloha friend, I'm Mel a really curious yarn fan who loves knitting, and is also obsessed with encouraging you to feel the same. No matter where you are in your journey, whether you're an adventurous knitter, or one in the making, we've got more in common than you might expect.

It wasn't so long ago, I'd get frustrated with too many cast ons, but never any completed projects, or endless piles of wavy yarn from ripped out knits. Fast forward to today: I love learning from languishing projects, and so called "failed ones" too! Every aspect of my life fuels my creativity, and my creativity adds to my enjoyment of life. I created this podcast to share tips, mind shifts and challenges to help you do the same. So if you're a thoughtfully creative spirit, or someone wanting to grow in that direction, looking to love all the perfect knits you make, and embrace the ones with feature "design elements" too, you're in the right place friend. Welcome to Encourage Better, your knitting podcast.

Today is the first in a three part series on the three G's in knitting. Which once I get started, I am certain dear listener, you will have more "Gs" to add. Today, we are going to begin with Gratitude knitting.

You probably love knitting, in ways that make your heart race a bit when you think of all the joy that it brings you. And your heart probably swells with love for some people in your life. They just mean so much to you. Maybe you've knit your kids a toy, your husband or boyfriend or partner, a pair of socks. And maybe there is a loved one that has received an actual sweater. You thought enough of these family members, these truly loved loved ones, that knitting for them was an effortless decision.

Now the process of knitting may have been fraught with more work than you bargained. But your compunction to knit for them was very strong. Have you ever been thankful; had sincere gratitude for someone else and thought "I'd like to knit them a token of my appreciation." Have you ever gone down the list of what you love knitting, only the question where what you love knitting and what you were willing to knit, could intersect? I feel you. I am a sweater knitter. I just love knitting sweaters. I average about one sweater a month and I've done that consistently the last six years. I actually knit more sweaters over the summer than any other time of year. Top down. Raglan. Color work yoke. Bottom up. In the round. Flat with seams. Seamless. Pullovers. Cardigans. I love knitting sweaters. But I am not a sweater-as-a-gift-knitter, or at least I wasn't...

Cue the entrance for my friend Janelle. She's a produce and flower farmer. She and her business partner partner Judy grow incredible produce on our island, which is no easy feat. They start from seeds these plantings for veg and flower gardens in the the local nursery that they own. Now in the past, I've helped out here and there, transplanting sprouts and some other things. And once with Judy, the two of us planted 1000s--- 1000s of bulbs in Kodiak, Alaska in December in frozen earth that we actually had to chop through. And believe it or not, it was a glorious time actually. It was very therapeutic.

Janelle is a farmer, coveralls and dirt beneath her fingernails. It's kind of a daily uniform of her job. And she somehow makes it a style that you want to embrace. honest work definitely puts out a drawing in vibe. After knitting a pair of fingerless mitts for her in the past, I started to think I need to knit her something new. As a gesture of gratitude for all the hard work she does, and the kindness she shares with me. And with my family. I grabbed some Sparrow yarn, which is an organic linen yarn from Quince and Co, and it was in the color way Sans, I think. It's it's a natural color, undyed, a very soft beige or sand color. So I began by casting on three stitches, and made her a linen bandana to tie around her neck that could double as a useful cloth to dip into water and wipe her face if the need arose. It was simple, just a tapered bandana that had a clever method of securing it, which I say so myself since I made it. It took no time at all to whip up, and it was filled with happy stitches of appreciation. When I gave it to her, she was over joyed and that my friend is an understatement. She was moved, she was thankful. And she is she's worn it countless times. It went on a trip with her to New Zealand and to Ohio and all the places in between. She loves her gift. That joy and love for my small gesture of gratitude was an extra special return gift for me. I was so moved by her appreciation, I knit her Caitlin Hunter's Briars and Brambles sweater. I'll share images and my thoughts on this particular pattern on the blog. Speaking of the blog, I want to interject quickly that I recently had a giveaway of three patterns on the blog. Each winner was gifted Susan B Anderson's swaddled pals Volume One, from the comments on the blog of the same name. There's a lovely snail mail bundle that is up for grabs right now. I love love love doing little random gift givings whether it's on the blog, or for newsletter subscribers, so definitely take advantage of the intentional points of connectivity. This podcast is absolutely a wonderful place for me to connect with you. But I'd love for you to connect with me. So that happens really well by way of the blog and email. So if you've not explored either of those ways to connect with me, I encourage you, actually, I invite you to head over to www.encouragebetter.com and plug in. And here's a little secret. At the end of today's podcast. There's a treat for a listener. So keep your ears open.

Now back to knitting for Janelle. She loved this sweater. I loved gifting it to her seeing her honest appreciation and love for it. So much so that you guessed it. I knit her something else. So the next thing I knit her was this Sophie Scarf. That has been a hot pattern on Ravelry for ages. There's a shawl version, but the scarf is just fun and it really captures the essence of Janelle style. And so, again, I dug through some yarn that I thought really connected to the spirit of Janelle as a person, and I did her version out of Quince & Co. Willet, which is an organic cotton that is grown in Texas in the US here. And the color way was Almond. Just a really pretty heathered, soft, lovely, earthy yarn. Anyways, she was so stoked. And I presented it to her rolled like a little croissant. And as two bread lovers, we both laughed, and we were like, awww! and just hugged and it was just so so, so good giving these knits to her.

Now I can already feel you. I hear some of you saying, "But Mel but Mel, let me tell you, when I knit something special for someone, that time that I knit something, and they did not have a good reaction!", I feel that friend. I have had that experience, too. Not everything I've knit for people has had that Janell-kind of reaction. And to that, I want to share this, so keep listening.

During these last months, actually the past 24 of them, things for me, were hard. There were days that sadness and grief kept me in bed. days, days, life hurt, and our family was hurting. And that's not the point though. What is, is during this time, there was a medical professional, a caregiver, who was excellent, she is excellent. She was kind and attentive and supportive of us. And I was and am so thankful for her wisdom and her guidance. During this time an idea came to me she deserves a special knitted Thank you. Time passed as our family continued to rely on her and I sorted through all the possibilities. And I do mean all the possibilities. I looked at her and listen to her and and really try to take in the things that I was seeing and noticing things that I was picking up on about her values and her likes and her dislikes as well as seeing the colors that she wore and didn't wear. Well. I sifted and sorted through possibilities of yarn and pattern combinations that would suit her. I sifted through many, many options. And I decided upon my special Hedgehog Fibers, super bulky yarn called Chubby in a Potluck color, which I think is just like a lucky mix of things. And then I paired that with the Time After Time Cowl by BY Elizabeth Smith knits.

The cheerfully bright yarn with these pops of red magenta, and hints of yellow and purple and blues was fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun. It was fun to feel in my hands. It was fun to look at. It was just bright, like a bright light. Like the bright person she is. And those massive US 15 (which is 10 millimeter) needles made me laugh as they were in stark contrast to the tiny ones that I was also using for a fingering weight sweater that I was knitting at the time. As I was winding the skein by hand of this glorious fiber, it became to me... felt like a soccer ball form. I thought about how thankful I was for this person and the work she had done to help I cast on and I remembered the coat that she so often wore, and how this cowl would look terrifically smart as it kept her cozy. I went around and around in my knitting. I was trying to keep present on the recipient and not the day to day thoughts and struggles that I was having I imbued love and appreciation into each stitch. It was so good for me. As the finished object went into the water preparing to be blocked, I enjoyed thinking of the fig scented wool wash that I was using, because she had actually remarked on how lovely the scent was. When I had finished cleaning, a hand knit that was soaked in the same wash scent when I wore it and saw her one day. I wrote out the sincerest words of thanks on a special card that an artist that I admired, made and sold. I included care instructions, complete with a Eucalan sample to allow her to care for it in the future. And even the small ball band had little thoughts written on it. It was a sweet, sweet gift, heartfelt, hand made and packed full of all the ways I could think of to elevate it as closely to the thanks I felt for her as I could make with my hands. Now, the gift was dropped off at her office, where she accepted it with a smile, but didn't open it because she had another pressing appointment.

That was the last time I saw her or heard from her. That's right, those crickets that you're hearing. Those are the crickets that also chimed in after I gave her the gift. Now it's been months, months and months and months have gone by and still those crickets. Does the fact that her response wasn't what Janelle's level of response was--- Does that matter to me? I've been rolling this over in my head for months. I haven't heard anything from her. Did she like it? Did she hate it? Does she wear it every day? Does she? Did she maybe think "this is not me" and re-gift it to someone.

So let's work together, You and I, through these questions. Did she love it? I don't know. Did she hate it? Well, why in the world would she hate it? I mean seriously? Does she wear it every day? Most likely not? Did she re-gift it? Knowing the caliber of the person that she is, if she did give it to someone, I imagine it would be a client who needed comfort. But at the end of all these questions, I keep coming back to this...

Come back to me if you're doing all the things. I need you to hear this. Her response isn't why I knit it. Her response is not why I knit it. My knitting was an expression of an abundance of gratitude towards the kindness and the the tireless work that she provided. Knitting this for her was my goal. To create a tangible expression of deep sincere from the bones of me gratitude to create that was my goal. I achieved my goal. And I am content with that.

And because I always want to leave you with thoughtful observations that you could possibly apply to your creativity, here are three important lessons, three helpful things that I have learned that makes knitting for others a joy. First, number one, make the goal in alignment of a purpose not dependent on the response. I'm gonna say that again. Make the goal of your knitting in alignment of a purpose not at all dependent on their response. For example, I am excited to celebrate this person. I will knit for them a bunting. FYI, I have done that before. Very recently. As I knit it, I will enjoy the time to celebrate my friend. Now right now in the knitting. My goal is to create something tangible to show my affection, my love my gratitude for them. Once the item is made, I can be thoroughly content with achieving my goal.

Now, let's be honest, is it awesome to give to a Janelle like recipient? Who texts photos of her wearing a bandana you knit,when she's digging in the fields, as well as when she's all fancy in a dress and wearing that same bandana on a special date? Yes, yes, my friend, it absolutely is awesome to have that kind of response to your knitting. But my friend, that is the extra.

Own your goal, own your goal for your knitting, or you're crocheting, or your weaving or your macrame, or your sewing or whatever you have done. You own your goal for it. When you own that, you decide what has the power to make you content. And you decide what has the power to steal your joy. Now, I am not saying that this is easy. Nor am I saying it is easy when little Junior asparagus opens up the sweater that you spent six months knitting him. And he looks a bit confused or maybe not as stoked as you imagined. Yeah, that can totally sting. But go back to the goal and get crystal clear on owning every aspect of your knitting goals. There's a lot of liberation there.

Alright, number two, use your knitting creation time to focus on your purpose, and have a blast with it. If you're knitting tiny socks to celebrate the birth of a baby, well, spend your knitting time thinking about the parents. Think about your experiences with babies or the parents of the soon to be baby. Have fun getting caught up in the celebration, if you're choosing to knit this. Knitting a hat for your second cousin twice removed Sally, and her best friend who's getting married. Well think about your cousin. And the way that you've kept in touch all these years. Think about how she's asked you to do this favor for her and the joy that you may be finding in knitting for her. Think about her best friend that she's asked you to knit for, and the joy that she's brought to Sally over all these years. Think about how freaking fun this hat pattern is that you're using. Think about what you're creating and enjoy it. I think about what I am doing, and I love that time. I practice not getting misled by the thoughts of hero worship that my knitting may give. Because I will tell you, when I focus on the hopeful spotlight that my knitting may fall in, I sometimes open myself up to be disappointed. Not everyone is going to understand or appreciate what has gone into creating this. After all, if you're not a knitter, or crocheter a seamstress, if you aren't the person who has had experience with what it takes to create this, you don't understand what it takes to create this.

Now, I got one more for you. Number three, guard your time. Guard the time you are knitting. If you want to knit out of gratitude. Hurray. If you don't want to knit for others, hurray. You can just as easily express total true heartfelt gratitude, with a simple word of thanks, and not the additional effort of knitting for them. If your time for knitting is where you enjoy making and learning for yourself, good for you. Set boundaries, feel proud of those boundaries. Keep your space a practice for you. If thoughts of knitting for others come to mind, evaluate them and act upon your convictions. And don't feel bad. If you change your mind, and want to knit a bookmark for the local librarian, who is always ready to give you the scoop on the perfect title, Hooray! knit a bookmark! If you think about knitting a hat and mittens for your kids teacher, but then you decide on a gift card to the local coffee shop also, hurray.

Your Knitting time is yours, my friend, own it. And once you own it, be confident that you know best. What I've shared today about gratitude knitting is my experience. I'm not, I'm not sharing it with you today, because I think you should copy me. I'm not the first person to do gratitude knitting and I certainly won't be the last. My heartfelt desire for sharing this with you today is to let you learn a little bit about my experience, and the lessons I learned. And I really do hope that it has been valuable to the way you consider things. If it has, I'd love to hear about it. You can email me at Melissa @ encouraged better.com. And share with me any gratitude knitting that you've done, and the gratitude, or lack thereof, that you've experienced.

Thanks for joining me today. Remember to click the subscribe button where ever you listen. And if you enjoy this podcast, consider leaving a review. Reviews Help others discover this podcast. And I would love the opportunity to encourage other leaders. If you are listening on Audible or Apple podcasts, or somewhere that allows you to do a written review, consider leaving a written review to share not about me. But about you. Does this podcast help you at all? Does it keep you company or brighten your day? I'd love to know how. Thanks for being here, my friend. Be sure to head over to encourage better.com because on the blog, you'll be able to discover more about today's episode, pictures, links, things like that, as well as things that I often don't share here on each episode. So wherever you are in this world, that this podcast is coming to you. I hope that the sun is shining on you and that you realize how valuable you are to our knitting community and this world not because of the things that you make, but simply because of the person you are. So until next time, Aloha dear friend