Need life advice?

You've come to the wrong place.

(before you read any further I would love it if you read this and play the audio. I need you to hear my heart on this. Chances are you are going to hear float planes and me tripping over some words but let’s give it a go…)



Need life advice?

You've still come to the wrong place.

The expectation that what works for me will work for you is as promising as me saying "You need footwear? I will send you my favorite perfect pair of shoes that I love and wear all the time! I mean, they work for me and you trust and value my opinion so it'd totally work right?" Knowing nothing “shoe-helpful” about you, where you live, the terrain and temps...and of course your shoe size! I could pack up my most trusted pair and send them on their way to serve you and your feet as perfectly as they worked for me. Only right away I know many of you would bail because *hello! they are used shoes* (I get you, no judgement) For those of you determined to stick it out because you have faith in me--- well, you might be surprised when the box arrives, you open to discover I am a 5.5 or 6 US.

Moving forward…There is an alternative for those not wanting pre-worn shoes: What if I bought you a new pair of my favorites and sent them your way? Problem corrected, right? Hmmm… you are going to feel let down when you put them on, as I forgot to mention, and not intentionally, they were so stiff at first. My heel and a few toes were rubbed quite painfully until I broke them in.

The third alternative is you notice I wear the same shoes all the time. Thinking back, you further become aware that you can't remember seeing me in a different pair. I look ridiculous in some of the images your mind brings up as these shoes are worn with dresses, jeans, shorts, sweatpants... I’m pretty darn committed these shoes.

And so when you come to a point where you are considering it for yourself, you decide to ask me where I get them if you need further confirmation. Or you and I are close enough that you already know the shoes on my feet and just order yourself a pair.

Before I unpack the shoe idea into a simple sentence or two, I want to share one more thing. A true, happening-as-I-type-story, going on in a test knit group I am part of.

Also, thank you for hanging in here with me...

A group of us are test knitting a shawl. It is being worked in fingering weight and sport/dk (these details matter to knitters and crocheters reading, I promise). We gather our materials and excitedly await the first portion of the pattern to get cracking.

All enthusiasm at a promising new start...

And begin we do! Pictures of wee little starts are shared, and holy cow, these shawls grow and grow every few minutes it seems. From the first cast on of 3 or 4 stitches, we are all delighted in real-time at how quickly we zip through the first 30 rows! We didn't even get up to refill our coffee.

"Remember, this is not a race & there is no pressure from me to work quickly. Just enjoy yourself and take time to pop in and chatter with each other as you create." Those are our instructions.

"Each knitter can set their own pace. I know this test knit isn't your full time-- or part-time-- job." More instructions and words of affirmation.

We chatter and enjoy photos of the progress. There are some knitters that I swear must have gotten the pattern before it was posted, which I know is impossible, but they are progressing through color changes and stitch work with such ease… and I can't wait to join them there! I look at where I am and see I have more work to do, but I want to get there!

I hesitate to say: we all want to get there!, because in 45 years I have learned: I do not know what another human wants. Even when they tell me! What we as humans say and mean can be different things entirely, AND NOT intentionally misleading or dishonest.

Sidebar here for those of you still reading:

I say DOG. Your mind automatically goes to the sweet and loyal friend by your feet. But you, Dear Other Reader, call to mind that incident with the neighbor's pet that bit you. And for me, as I type I am remembering having to put my most loyal friend to sleep just a few months ago.

Dog. Same word. Different experiences behind that word frame how we react to it.

How about Ocean?

You: tropical getaway, languishing on the sand watching the waves fold in on themselves as they roll closer without an agenda. My Dear Other Reader thinks more energetically: mentally grabbing their surf board and paddling out to catch as many of the waves as possible! Me? I think of a tie from which I can't escape, and don't ever want to...the ocean has been a companion for so long, I keep glancing at her to my left as I type. But for the reader along the Gulf they see the word Ocean and think of damage, storms, rebuilding…

See how that works?

Ok…Back to the knitting:

The community of testers gets further along.

Excitement heightens.

Shawls are growing in depth and width.

But we’re at this juncture in the pattern that every shawl knitter with a bit of variety under their belt knows...

Long rows filled with numerous stitches that no longer fly by, but that we must devote time and quite a bit of dedication to see each through. Our lofty goals have shifted to “My plan today is to work two garter rows…lol! Fingers crossed!” (Non knitters: garter is wonderful, but it is code for rows of just work the knit stitch and that over 400+ stitches…BORING!!)

We are in the thick of it.

And if we want the shawl in the end, we have to press through these rows.

Those still on Row 35 are a little aware of what they are in for, still enjoying the way rows change through quick starts and finishes, turning work, and new beginnings.

We look back at them knowing they have lots of work ahead that they are going to need to dedicate themselves to... But as we press into Row 141 ourselves we have to be mindful that we don't belittle the progress these knitters are making. For they ARE making progress.

Are they pushing through a day at the office, tending to family needs once they get home and then stealing away to work on these stitches against time constraints and demands that we aren't privy to? They devote each moment to making this shawl bigger and moving through this pattern.

For other testers: do they have a variety of creative endeavors that this is but one of many? To them, they feel part of the group and do what they can and want, as they can and feel compelled. Should I not be mindful of the contribution they have made? For they have pointed out pattern discrepancies and number errors, even though their shawl isn't “growing.”

Does the help they bring look different? Yes. Is it still valuable? Yes.

And then there is me. See I wrote the pattern. My investment is different than theirs. Do I want to see them create a shawl?

Yes… And no… And maybe…

Yes, of course I want to see fellow makers knitting the shawl.

No, not necessarily as they can contribute in other ways. At first glance their contributions may not be as powerful as the creation of the project. But that is only true if I forget The PATTERN being CORRECT is THE GOAL.

And the maybe? You know, Folks were excited for different reasons other than making the shawl or fixing the pattern. There are tons of reasons I can speculate as to why they volunteered. But I don't know for certain.

I DO KNOW THIS: They are here in a group that I am part of and I can encourage them. And I can build in to them the same as I am doing with others that presently are more productive. For there will be a time when they have been set up to do more. Investing in others when we aren't seeing the immediate response we want is still a positive investment.

For the future them.

And for the right now community.

And for me.

I have more to share, as always. But know that none of these things are shared as ground breaking improvemnet ideas. They are observations in my life and are not subliminal messages to you and the world.

I will not try to send you my favorite shoes.

I don't know your size.

But most importantly, these shoes I wear are amazing because of each step I took to break them in myself.