Encourage Better

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Chapter 5

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"Well, hello there, Ebbie! A delight to see you here. Don't tell me you finished that pullover already? I will put you to work teaching speed knitting classes!" Maddie greeted Ebbie as the soft bells tinkered, and the door shut behind her.

Ebbie patted her backpack, which hung to her side, not on her back, "It's in here, and no, I'm not done. Still hard at work." she smiled as she walked towards the store owner who balanced at the top of a ladder. In the rear of the shop, Maddie had yarn tucked beneath one arm, reaching to stack others on the seat of an old chair secured to the wall. The chair was several feet up on the wall with yarn artfully stacked where people once sat. On the crossbar between the legs hung a neatly folded quilt. She tilted her head to the side and looked hard at the unusual wall decor. Despite it being far from the traditional way to use a chair, Ebbie thought it worked. Had it been there when she stopped in just days before? She also wondered, How could I have overlooked that lovely quilt? It had deep reds and blues against a faded brown, the color of watered-down sweet tea after all the ice has melted. As Maddie continued stacking complimentary skeins of yarn in the chair, Ebbie admired the way it worked together, transporting her to a sunny front porch in the height of a sweltering summer when the world seemed filled with greens and yellows and hot breezes.

As she looked further along the wall, she noticed a second chair a bit lower than the first and a third chair higher than both. Each chair displayed vibrant hues of deeply dyed yarn in the seat, and beneath a matching quilt hung.

"Did you just put these up?" Ebbie asked, nonplussed as she honestly has no memory of such a vibrantly juxtapositioned showcase on display before. She thought she would have noticed.

Maddie set the last skein of robust red in place and turned with a smile. "I suppose you are having a better day today and should wander around the shop properly, so you don't miss anything else! These chairs have been here for the last three years after I rescued them from a friend." Dropping her voice conspiratorially, she continued, "I should say I rescued them from her cats, who saw fit to tidy their nails on the woven seats." She pulled back a quilt like a curtain to reveal a secret. "They're fastened to the wall in such a way I can take them down and get them repaired...eventually, and not have them ruined. For now, a bit of yarn and a quilt hides the damage done. It gives me a fun solution to the problem of where to store them until I do get round to fixing them. A two-fer really, since I get another place to put yarn. And that problem is constant!"

Ebbie followed Maddie to the table covered in needles, books, and notions. She couldn't tell if the table was being set up or cleared. Maddie met her questioning look with a smile, "A colorwork class this afternoon I'm setting up for, but had to stop when the delivery of new yarn arrived. That new yarn," she motioned back over her shoulder to the trio of high back chairs she had filled. Her hands moved a few things aside and cleared a spot which she tapped with her fingertips, "Now, show me what you've done and tell me how you are."


Strong arms wrapped Ebbie tightly in a greeting she didn't fully expect. Ebbie knew her dad loved her; he sent a card once a month and even started an Instagram account to keep up with her from afar. They emailed and talked the old fashioned way as he put it, with a phone call every few weeks. She kept on the go; her travels conveniently timed to avoid opportunities for holiday get-togethers. Held in this hug now made her a bit embarrassed about avoiding him. But usually, where dad was, Trin was. And that just wasn't a good idea.

"Let me get that for you," he stepped to pull back her chair before their server had opportunity. She sank into the leather, absently rubbing her fingers on the iron clavos along the edge of the oversized seat. As he took his place, Ebbie noticed her dad had a bit more silver in his salt and pepper hair, but his locks were still mostly dark and thick. She smiled to think he looked healthy, happy, and not at all near his sixty-five years. 

"Well, how do we catch up and not make you feel like I am grilling you for information?" he jovially started the conversation right off.

Laughing as she tried to sip her water, Ebbie put her glass down, "You are always the same, aren't you, Dad?" She looked at his smiling eyes, crinkled around their edges, happily teasing her. "Let's start with you! I haven't seen you since we met in Seattle. Was that this time last year?" Ebbie honestly couldn't remember if they had connected at the airport on her way to Cagayan de Oro in Mindanao or if she was on her back to Kodiak. She always flew into Seattle to go anywhere. Meeting people there in the midst of traveling elsewhere had begun to seem reasonable, albeit jumbled. 

He looked at her with a wink. "Your memory isn't what it once was, and your age must be catching up with you. You are thirty now, and things start to become a little muddled around this time.."

"You are kidding, right, Dad? You know I am still 29," she rolled her eyes a little as she reached into her bag for her knitting.

Giving an exaggerated sigh, Ebbie's father replied, "Trin uses that same line about still being 29. How many years have you been 29 now?" 

The light bantering seemed suddenly heavy. Just thinking about the number of birthdays passed without connecting with Trin made Ebbie's insides feel cold and tight. She hadn't called her sister the last four, maybe five birthdays... try as she did Ebbie wasn't able to remember. Trin hadn't called Ebbie either.

Her father sensed the slight change in her demeanor. Though he knew the real cause, he gently avoided it and instead circled back to her age again.

"Honey, I know you aren't thirty yet. You've got this last year to enjoy before your youth evaporates." Noticing the approaching server purposefully headed their way, he added, "Let's order and start catching up once we have some food on the way. I've had a long day, and I'm quite hungry!"

After listening to the impressive dishes available to them, Ebbie decided on eggplant, thyme, and gorgonzola crepes, and her father chose simple seared scallops in a tomato sauce. Suddenly Ebbie, like her father, was ready to eat, and her growling stomach made choosing just one dish difficult. They didn't resume chatting until they had both finished a delightful pea and asparagus salad. Gently mixing the dark tips of asparagus around the assortment of peas and walnuts, Ebbie realized she was still a kid at heart and relished this treat by her father of a special dinner. She told him as much after gently sliding her plate away and resuming her knitting.

Her dad wiped his smile with the linen napkin and looked at Ebbie kindly, "It is even more of a treat for me to be able to do it." he admitted. "I do wish I could see you more often; I love having time together. Tell me about your new home in Alaska. I know you are fond of the area and eager to help in the villages from what Trin has told me." When her eyes widened in astonishment, her father clarified, "Of course she keeps up with everything you do, despite this...whatever this rift between you two is..." He trailed off, the sadness in his words made Ebbie quick to maneuver the conversation back towards her new home so far away. 

The dinner was every bit as delicious as the server promised. Through the main course, Ebbie shared the rugged beauty of her remote home, as well as the work she had begun in the island villages. After enthusiastically agreeing to after-dinner coffee and desserts, she and her father sampled one another's treats. Ebbie continued to share how the co-operative of Native Kodiak Island artists had eagerly come together sharing their talents. They were proud of their creativity and resourcefulness and desired an opportunity to utilize their skills in a way honoring their traditions, but providing a much-needed income. Ebbie had planned to help them develop a platform to share and teach, but she soon realized she needed to learn more from them. "I need to approach working with them as a student, with a heart of 'mentor me, teach me' before I can fully use my knowledge to help them create a co-op to build wealth and income for them. I need to understand them." pausing a moment she added forlornly, "I had no idea, Dad, that I had no idea. Does that even make sense?" Her needles were clicking again without her noticing. Knit, purl, knit, purl, such an intuitive stitch pattern. 

"I do, honey. Really, I do. So many times, I have wanted to use Horizon House and Charity to step in and make things easier for people. 'Easier' I felt had to be the right thing to do. As time has given me opportunity to learn and re-learn, I see now the most beneficial thing to do isn't always for me to solve the problem. A far better approach is to support those as they try to develop a plan of their own, a system they have constructed, and to give them the chance to direct where and how I can come alongside and offer that support. It sounds like that is the path you are seeing." A slow smile was on his face. It contrasted with the sadness in his eyes and thick tone of his next words. "You know, Horizon House has always wanted to back your ideas and endeavors. You have never once been without our support ."

She shook her head a little, breathing deeply, slowly trying to keep all the things inside her from pouring out. Quietly she spoke, "Dad, Trin sent me a certified letter requesting that I come here to be removed from the charity or as she put it 'restructuring the management to conclude my involvement.' That doesn't sound very supportive to me. I got a typed letter from out of nowhere, her secretary made my travel arrangements, and here I am to step out of Trin's way officially. I don't even remember how I got in her way to begin with!" Her voice quivered a bit, and she looked into her lap. The soft blue yarn had worked itself into a fabric of nubbly texture without her noticing. The stitches held such bounce and energy, Ebbie couldn't wait to see it stretched on a blocking board. It was going to be the perfect sweater to wear. Ebbie felt a surge of satisfaction and pride, followed by a crashing wave of confusion. How could she create beauty with some wool, needles, and her two hands, yet make such a mess of things with Trin without even being around?

A deep, slow sigh came from her father, "February, you and Trin are both going to miss the whole point of being sisters if you won't just sit down and talk. Avoiding one another will never help you two understand one another. Would you think about having lunch with Trin and I tomorrow? Or maybe Friday?"

Ebbie would rather rip out every stitch of her sweater.



From Ebbie's Journal:

Moved through the construction of the front before the neck shaping easily enough. Quite mindlessly to be honest. My hands intuitive know by way of repeated rhythm what to do with each stitch as it comes. Through dinner, I didn't need to look at my work continually, but now I have reached the part where I do; or at least I will need to read the directions!

The neck shaping is not hard, just a series of decreases here and there. As the row constructions vary, I have printed out this section and tick off each row as I do it. I've had to put the knitting down a few times here and there since starting this portion, and I'm glad I'm keeping track this way. For the next bit, I have a spare needle just like the one I am using that I plan to put the center, unworked stitches on instead of waste yarn. I find having the stitches on a needle, ready to go, keeps the tempo upbeat for my projects. Slipping to waste yarn and then off again definitely works, but for some reason, I get frustrated in the transfer.

I will save the seaming of the shoulders for tomorrow afternoon, maybe, but I need to get that done to do the neckband.

I can't believe it is almost time to knit the sleeves and then wear this! Can I have it done before flying home? Sleeve island seems to be a place I stay for ages... I imagine it would be fun to wear back, but realistically, it may be on my lap during those endless hours in the air. It'll make a great lap blanket!

I did tell Maddie I would be back into the shop for her class she is teaching this weekend. It will be fun to be around other creative folks. I do enjoy Maddie's company, but she is such an enabler. I feel a second project about to compete with this one!