Chapter 6
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Before sharing this next chapter installment, I want to recognize you, Dear Reader, and thank you for your patience and support during the quiet time between chapters. Ebbie has been eagerly awaiting you, and so have I. Like most families, mine has had a different year than originally planned and as we all have, all over the world, met challenges, strategized to overcome or accept them and pressed forward. So many people were quickly able to handle all the new changes. I, however, needed more time. Thank you for being gracious and allowing me that time.
With love and thanksgiving,
Mel
From Ebbie's Journal:
I know I usually write in the evening, but I need to distract myself now... knitting and journaling are perfect for that. Especially early on Saturday mornings...
So the seams are sewn, and I am preparing to pick up the neckband. The pick-up is a combination of incorporating live stitches set aside earlier and picking up a few. I wonder if anyone else plays around with the picking up of stitches as I do? I find picking up very straightforward with some yarns, insert the needle through the full stitch at the edge, and work the new yarn through to create a stitch. Other times I find easing back one stitch away from the edge gives such a cleaner look. And then, of course, to add more options to my ever-growing experimental knitting list, I find myself fusing the two options. In the end, whichever result provides the best aesthetic and proper stitch count, I am all about using it.
I'm preparing right now, with the right side of the pullover facing. I just need to pick up and knit down the left side of the front neck, 19 stitches, all sizes. I will knit across all the stitches on the front neck holder, pick up and knit 20 stitches up the right side of the front neck and 5 stitches down the right side back neck, knit across all stitches held on the back neck holder and then on to the home stretch of the final 5 stitches to pick up on left side back neck. That seems pretty straightforward on paper, but I need to concentrate, so I am doing it before meeting Dad and Trin for brunch. Once I get these stitches picked up I can drop in a beginning of round stitch marker and mindlessly knit in rib round after round. My last stitch and my first stitch on the following round will be worked together. I find that gives a tight smooth join, though I do have to come back and weave in the yarn tail anyway when all the knitting is done. I find the k2 together of those stitches anchors the neckband.
After the initial set up round, I work in 1x1 rib for 10 more rounds and then bind off.
"You aren't fooling me. Nope, not at all," the voice behind Ebbie said with an incredulous laugh.
"Uh-uh," she went on, "There is absolutely no chance that this is your first time at this. It can't be. And if it is, you better not admit it because once I get untangled from this mess, I may have to hide your knitting. Maybe even keep that sample you are working on..." the voice trailed off, the chiding brimmed with good-natured teasing.
Ebbie turned from the colorwork hat she was making to smile apologetically at the classmate sitting down the table from her, admitting, "You caught me, I shouldn't be here."
A laugh erupted from Maggie, the yarn shop owner in charge of the workshop. "Ebbie, you do belong here! Only maybe you should be leading the class instead."
Trying to redirect the unwanted attention, Ebbie quickly admitted, "Fair Isle is something I have a bit of a penchant for and find myself doing most in my knitting adventures. When Maggie invited me to the workshop, I signed on because she shared with me how wonderful the other ladies in the class were "unbelievable humans," I think were her exact words. I just wanted to spend time with you all." With a sheepish grin, she glanced at the other members of the class who were all returning a smile.
"Girl, if you know what you are doing already, why don't you just slide your chair a little bit closer to me so I can watch you when Maggie is helping others!" This teasing came from the original voice that pulled Ebbie from her daydreams.
Ebbie started moving her supplies. "Vonetta, right?" she asked, repositioning her chair, yarn, and new knitting bag, which felt stiff and unfamiliar in her hand. She made a mental note to text Trin and her father again to see if she could come by and grab her backpack. Her eyes looked over the hands of the knitter she was now sitting beside and instantly remembered the frustration she felt in her first colorwork adventure. Twisted yarns and uneven floats were determined then to sabotage her every stitch, and yet she kept with it.
"Yes, I am Vonetta, and this is my mess," she lifted her hands in a gestured of introduction. Her voice dropped to a low whisper, "I am here for the same reason as you, only I honestly have zero experience using more than one yarn, let alone 4 of these little bobbin-y things." She winked at Ebbie, continuing, "I have three kids under the age of 7 and a husband who treasures my sanity, so I find myself here at the shop once a week for KnitNite and once a month for a special class." Lifting her voice in an exaggerated attempt to get Maggie's attention, "Usually the classes Maggie gets me into are relaxing and enjoyable AND NOT an exercise in developing saintly levels of patience!"
The other ladies laughed, longtime friends it seemed, but not the type of group determined to keep closed and unapproachable. The other six ladies and Vonetta had welcomed her as they came in earlier and took seats around the table. Ebbie arrived an hour before the start of the workshop, to purchase knitting supplies and help Maggie set out materials participants would use for class.
Maggie has become a magnet...no, more of an anchor, for me, Ebbie realized as she considered the previous week. Ebbie made it a point to come by the shop each day, sharing her knitting progress and picking up needed supplies the first couple days, bringing Maggie coffee and scones in the afternoon the last three days. With her winsome smile and good-hearted remedies for all that ailed Ebbie, Maggie had lifted her spirits. Those "remedies" included: mohair, silk, a mini-skein of bison fiber, and a new knitting bag and project after leaving behind hers at the restaurant. Before she had time to revisit the incident with her dad and Trin, Vonetta pulled Ebbie back to the here and now with her plea for intervention.
"Ebbie, if you could just help me escape from this fiber handcuff, I am sure I can find my way back to an untangled starting point..." Her eyes round and plaintive.
Ebbie got to work.
"Now, this is a way to spend a Saturday! Slaying giants and beating back discouragement!" Vonetta held up the start of her hat with unashamed pride. She had managed to knit the first two inches of ribbing in her primary color, a vibrant blue with specks of black; the tweedy yarn was a blend of rustic fibers and modern color. Ebbie knew she would need to grab a skein of it to knit fingerless mitts for this winter. Vonetta's hat then transitioned to the most incredible mixes of grey, black and yellow colorwork. The fair isle pattern was a floral motif that moved into bold lines of triangles moving upwards like mountain peaks. Ebbie was curious to see what design would come next.
Maggie was applauding the class and nodding her head in agreement. "I agree! The feeling of conquering hard things is so good, and don't let anyone tell you the tricky Fairisle work you did today doesn't count as a real challenge. You ladies have spent lots of brainpower and mental energy as well as implementing new muscle memories for your already dexterous hands. You have a lot to be proud of!" The students clapped again for each other.
"And I know some of you have a Saturday afternoon to join in with family, but if any others want to stick around, I have new quilt kits in the back for table runners! Since you took the workshop today, remember, any purchase you make in the next ten days earns you double reward points to Super Shopping Saturday next month!" Maggie smiled and headed towards the back of the shop, followed by a few eager quilters.
As classmates said farewells and offered last words of encouragement, Vonetta made no motion to go, and Ebbie too stayed where she was.
Without taking her eyes off her work, but directing her next words to Ebbie, Vonetta probed gently, "So what part of you is our dear Maggie trying to fix? Obviously, you didn't need to brush up on your multi-color-yarn management skills," she smiled, lifting her gaze briefly to Ebbie and continuing, "Mags has some sort of built-in radar alerting her to knitters in need of some restorative moments. And since you've seen me entangled today, I feel like I can safely point out you look like you have a lot more than knitting on your mind."
Ebbie hesitated though it was refreshing to have someone ask her what she was thinking. Ebbie realized she hadn't talked with anyone about what was swirling around in her head. She always hesitated to speak with longtime friends about tensions between Trin and herself. She knew her friends were loyal and prone to seeing only Ebbie's side of things. Hadn't she wished for time and again a completely objective ear, someone she wouldn't need to be concerned about influencing their opinion of her sister? Here was a willing sounding board, someone Ebbie didn't have to worry they might bump into Trin in the future.
Ebbie's pause was more prolonged than Vonetta expected, but she remained quiet. Vonetta could see the girl was thinking through something; her forehead would crease and relax, her mouth turned down and tight.
Ebbie was about to speak, but one of the ladies who purchased a new quilting kit came back to the table. "I couldn't help it," the other classmate, Miriam, admitted laughing. "I know Maggie wants us all to be multi-craftual to release our best creative self..." her voice trailed off, but then finished, "I'm concerned that my best creative self is a bit dangerous on my budget!"
Ebbie, Vonetta, and Miriam shared their laughter, and the sound of it filled the whole shop. In the back, Maggie smiled, thankful for the sound.
"Do you even realize how you sound? I have always, always listened to you, Trin, and respected the way you stepped in after Mom died, but you are not my mother. Why can you not see that I only want you to be my sister?" Ebbie's voice had been low at first but ended loudly enough to have others in the restaurant turn to look.
Trin's face turned white, and for a moment, Ebbie expected her to say nothing, that her father would instead step in to smooth over the conversation. But an embarrassed, outraged flush replaced the paleness, and Trin responded, icy and clipped, "If you behaved like an adult, I wouldn't need to babysit you all the time." Her eyes locked with Ebbies, and she continued unblinking, "We were entrusted with the opportunity to help others. And you, grown-up and in no need of parenting," the sarcasm dripped from her every word, Trin continued, "so wise and making solid decisions took your opportunity, the opportunity mom would have wanted you to be part of, and ---what did you do with it? Oh, yes! Yes, sister," she enunciated the word as a bitter taste in her mouth, "You, sister, left Dad and I as well as all the responsibilities we shared, to aimlessly wander, selfishly trying to re-discover yourself. Dear sweet sister, your need to go out and look for some new person that you could be...well that reckless abandonment is exactly why I want you legally removed from things. None of what we do, of what mom valued, is important to you anyway. Since it doesn't matter, why are we even having this conversation?"
Ebbie blinked, hot tears of frustration were mixing with anger, but Trin was not done, "Ah, we are having this conversation because you, Ebbie, are a grown-up that doesn't need me to mother you. So here is me bringing to light things, one adult, to another, should be able to talk about."
Ebbie stared at the tablecloth, her mind trying to take in all Trin shared. She felt confused and worse, she felt alone and completely misunderstood. How could Trin be so offbase? And how could she be so mean?
As if hearing her sister's questions, Trin looked past Ebbie for a moment and took a deep breath. She started again quickly before their father could begin what Trin knew would be an effort to smooth things.
"Ebbie, I know this is hard to hear," Trin's voice softened slightly, but left no question of the feelings of disappointment that had accumulated, "but Dad and I, and other people we have worked alongside trusted in you. You had responsibilities. To leave us for years of self-exploration wasn't only selfish, but the hole you left for us to fill wasn't just about replacing one person for another capable person. You are family and your absence, and continued absence is noticeable..."
Ebbie listened, thinking about how it must feel to Trin to miss having her around. That would be noticeable. After all, wasn't she aware daily of how much she missed Trin?
"...and having everyone notice you're no longer plugged in with our work. Instead they hear of you in the Phillipines or off to Mexico. Some people know you've been up and down the east and west coast. And now some out of the way place in the Artic... Ebbie, do you have any idea how that looks? What a PR nightmare it has been for me?" Trin looked at her eyes flashing despite her level steely tone.
And there it was. Trin was concerned with the problems Ebbie created for her reputation. Ebbie wanted to scream. Her needles were moving in her lap, knitting the neckband so furiously, without Ebbie even aware. She felt her neck hot with embarrassment and anger.
"Trin.. Ebbie... Girls." Their father slowly spoke each word, giving the two girls time to refocus on him, "I am glad you two are finally talking. And though its painful, I am glad you are both bringing up things the other should respond to, but there is a bit of history here that you both need to frame up for the other. Let me make a couple of things very clear before this conversation goes any further. I love you both and want you to be happy, even if that happiness takes you in different directions." He looked pointedly at Ebbie and then at Trin. "If we are going to be charitable, it needs to be authentic and start at home with those closest to us. What we do for the good of others should never undermine our relationships: me with each of you, and you with each other." His eyes met Ebbie's, "And keeping yourself away and at a distance is as unfair to us as it was surprising." Then looking pointedly at Trin, "Just as refusing to engage when given the opportunity is wrong..." He slightly shook his head and looked out the window. Softly, he continued, "Your mother has been gone too long. I miss her today in much the same way I did all those years ago when I lost her. We meant the world to her, and you girls mean all the world to me." He glanced back with a surprising smile, "You both are so much like her. So many memories of her spring to mind when I have the two of you together..."
And then Trin said, "I have no memories of mom putting herself before others." She turned to Ebbie, her words ice, "She would never be you, touring the world, squandering talent and potential, ignoring people that loved her. Never."
Ebbie was on her feet, moving through a tablecloth maze and out the door onto the street. She half-ran across the street and several blocks closer to the B&B before realizing the only thing she had grabbed when fleeing the table was her phone.
From Ebbie's Journal :
Felt lost earlier after rushing out of lunch and leaving my knitting bag. Mrs. Bev was kind enough not to press me for details as I walked in the B&B. She knocked a few minutes ago on the door and surprised me with a tea tray and fresh scones. I didn't eat at lunch, and I didn't have breakfast, and my stomach doesn't care if my heart is breaking, it wants food. And these scones are so good...
I can't decide if Trin is really the worst sister or honestly just not understanding anything. Or maybe she is the worst sister because she doesn't understand anything.
She really thinks I have been traveling the world trying to find myself? Did she never hear anything I said? Just because I am not helping people the way she does doesn't mean I am a selfish child mindlessly wandering from place to place. Ugggh! Trin is so frustrating.
And I have nothing to knit now.
I tentatively signed up for Maggie's afternoon workshop, but maybe I will just pop in and grab a new project and leave before it starts. I have wanted to cast on some fingerless mitts, and that will keep me busy until I connect with Dad to find out where my stuff is. Glad I grabbed my phone when I left, and gladder still for ApplePay. I may need more than just a skein of yarn today, and I don't know if Mags would let me start a tab...
Yeah, I think I will walk over to the shop and get my mind on a new challenge.
